Tuna Anyone?… By Paula Duffy

Do you like your tuna from a can, seared and encrusted with pine nuts or grilled over hot coals? Well, Arthur Blank must have felt that he, rather than the tuna he thought he ordered had been skewered over the coals. In a bold move that doesn’t usually happen til after the regular season ends the owner of the Falcons, recently made a fool of by not only his franchise star but his first year ex-college coach, went trolling for a new face of his franchise. Bill Parcells was contacted to see if he could stop the madness that has become the Falcons and make customers want to see the games again. A known commodity was needed….but not just as coach. Blank is a man who built a billion dollar business by understanding that the core of an organization must be solid for the customers to flock to what the company offers. The core of the Falcons was and has been in disarray for a long time. Once the rest of the franchise got blown up by taking the only fan draw on the field out of the mix and then a wet behind the ears coach fleeing under cover of night prior to the end of the season the place wasn’t worth the real estate that houses the stadium. That’s where the Tuna was to come in. An old school guy that you know won’t put up with any happy horse doo doo, Parcells was to be the football czar of the organization, effectively wiping out the authority of Rich McKay, long time GM of the team who would be replaced. Parcells would go out and find a GM, a coach and he would help out with the coordinators as well. They’d plan the draft together and evaluate the talent from scratch. Parcells would restructure the place in his image, you know the way he’s done at all the teams he’s been at; most recently the Dallas Cowboys. When TO mouthed off last week that Wade Phillips was the guy that made the Cowboys who they are, Parcells shut up and let Keyshawn Johnson do the talking. It wasn’t only Key though; it was most of the sports community who know that he had a hand in drafting, trading for or acquiring the major talent on either side of the ball down in Big D. So it seemed like a match made in heaven…..until Wayne Huizenga came calling. Apparently, Bill and Wayne had talked about the exact same role to play in the Dolphins organization but….Wayne was looking to unload majority interest in the team, having tired of the mess that became that storied team. Bill won’t work for people he doesn’t know and that was a deal breaker for him. So he flirted with Blank and let it be known that he was close to a deal. Huizenga realized his last best hope of getting Bill was to promise that he’d stay in control of the team; that sealed the deal. On Wednesday the story went from Bill going to Atlanta to Bill dumping Atlanta for Miami, It’s easy to understand. He’s a Jersey/NY guy and let’s face it, you can’t spit 2 feet in Miami without finding transplanted New Yorkers. He is best of pals with former Dallas and Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson, loves to fish with Johnson on his boat and has an affinity for the pony races. I think he can find what he really likes down there. So Blank was left to face the media again to say that he had been left at the altar. You’d almost feel sorry for him if he seemed like a better kind of guy. Maybe it’s the mustache. So the Tuna lives to fight another day and create another team legacy. I can’t wait.

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