The Tuna Wriggles Off The Hook

Holy retirement surprise Batman! My secret love and crush from the 80’s-90’s, Bill “The Tuna” Parcells called it a career in Dallas this past Monday. I know, I know, you look at him now and think: “does she need a new set of glasses?” The answer is no, I see what he looks like now. Even when he was younger, he wasn’t THAT much better looking nor that much slimmer. He just had that charisma that drips off successful, powerful men from NY/NJ with a healthy dose of attitude. He was a sensation in the coaching ranks of the NFL and has spawned a passel of acolytes like Belichick, Coughlin, Crennel, Payton and others who have spread throughout the league and succeeded. But the circumstances of his retirement, are fishy…no pun intended. Conflicting reports have surfaced since the stunning announcement about whether he was asked to go by owner Jerry Jones or if he just up and quit. Serg and I were talking about it and his point of view is how the heck does the guy leave now, just when he’s got his QB, his running back twins and a better pack of defensive and offensive players? How will he feel if the team gets to the big game next season? My point is coming from a woman who walked away from a huge career for personal reasons and never looked back. Sometimes the cost outweighs the benefits and at his age of 65, with the TO mess this year, the QB switch and finally the gut wrenching way the playoffs ended for the team, it was time to say adieu. He has finally spoken on the record this weekend and said as much but since he is an active guy and doesn’t have hobbies in the traditional sense, you know he’ll be mulling over what he wants to do in the game and probably already is. But for me to think I might never see him on a sideline again with a headset or doing the funny and entertaining press conferences with the love/hate relationship he has with all media just makes me sad. He will always be, in my mind, the guy who had the Gatorade Shower invented for him by his beloved defensive guys like Harry Carson. He’ll always be the gruff exterior, mushy interior guy who had daughters, not sons. He’ll always remind me of my father. I guess that says it all.

 

Where has the buzz gone?

This week has whizzed by without the usual din of noise and controversy about the Super Bowl. Typically, the week after the last playoff game is full of intrigue, stories about the personalities that will sell the game to the public and at least some speculation about it all. What we have here is a quiet week and I chalk it up to the lack of acrimony between the coaches; Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy are the best of friends. The Colts and the Bears haven’t played very much and don’t have guys who are being jerks about spouting off on some subject or other. No one has been arrested from either team; but Tank Johnson DID get sprung by a judge to leave the state of IL to go to FL for the game. The injury report has been very light and no one is talking about the state of Peyton Manning’s thumb injury except to say that there was no broken bone. I guess we’ll really have to wait for next week and Tuesday’s media day to get the ball rolling. In the meantime, the cheapest seats on the Internet are going for a cool $3,500.00 and that is waaaaay up there behind an End Zone. Last year we had Jerome Bettis’ swan song to talk about, a rookie QB at the helm of the Steelers and the theory that no one gave any respect or love to the boys from the great North West, the Seahawks. This year’s stories already are lining up to kick off next week but it has been unusually quiet.

 

Tiger Woods is back and just in time

The lack of Super Bowl news was supplanted by the Parcells retirement and the revelation that Tiger and Mrs. Tiger are pregnant. This weekend is his first official PGA Tour event of the year and it is safe to watch golf again. Quick…can you name any of the previous winners this year in the events played so far? I didn’t think so. If Tiger isn’t playing I’m not watching and I guess no one else is too. There’s a reason for that; it’s called greatness. But his statement that he’ll potentially skip the British Open if his baby is due that week is not good news for the Tour or for those of us who are counting the months or years til he surpasses Nicklaus’ record of 18 major tournaments. My advice to Tiger: plan the birth with your wife’s doctor, have a Caesarian and get thee to Scotland. You don’t spit into the wind and you don’t cancel a major when you’re chasing history. Just my opinion but I guess it’s as good as any one else’s.

Til next week, check out my daily Dose of Duffy columns at www.incidentalcontact.com and listen to me on the Sports Journey radio show every Wednesday and Friday.

 

© 2007 Incidental Contact, LLC

What Took Him So Long?

Peyton Manning slayed the mighty Patriots in a playoff game and is going to a Super Bowl. What about that sounds odd? Oh yeah, everything. After the first touchdown for NE came on that odd fumble which went the Pats way you thought it was over. After the interception that put the Colts down 18, you thought it was over. But no. They actually tired out the Pats D with those long, long drives that took 7-8 minutes a piece. At the end it was a mistake by Brady that ended it all; how out of character. But for any miracle to happen, some unbelievable thing has to happen. Brady missed his last gasp pass and the Pats D couldn’t hold up after the flight to and from San Diego last week and a flu bug that infected the clubhouse. Do you think the Manning family placed it there, you know, by sending someone there to cough in everyone’s coffee? Don’t tell me that Archie Manning didn’t just heave a huge sigh of relief when he realized he didn’t have to pick up the pieces of Peyton’s ego, one more year, and find words of comfort about defeat. Now, is there something he can do with the goofy grin or dumbfounded stare of his younger son Eli? Until he has the presence of his brother in a social situation and learns how to speak in something other than a mumble I don’t expect him to be much better on the field.

 

Who the heck is Mike Tomlin and why will he be a Steeler?

Yeah, I know that the Steelers organization has a history of picking some unknown 30-something and keeping him for years and years while they win the bulk of their games and get to Super Bowls here and there. But what the heck is really going on her? They had 2, count them 2, great candidates in their Coordinators on both sides of the ball, Whisenhunt and Grimm, and let one get away to Arizona and the other, at least at this writing, looks like he’s gonna be reporting to someone younger than him and hasn’t been in the Bill Cowher/Steeler family. Adding insult to injury, the rumored to be new coach, Mike Tomlin is a freaking Viking! Come on now, as Lake likes to say. When asked about how the Steelers would deal with Cowher’s leave taking, I said that with their two long time Coordinators there, perhaps one as coach and the other as Coordinator; with some other big shot title that gives the loser the ego boost he needs to stay put, they should be fine. What was really wrong with the Steelers this year was that they had a hurt QB and continued to play him when they had a perfectly healthy back up who won every g—damned time he played. If Roethlisberger can stay off his motorcycle and have no other internal organs burst on him I believed next season would be fine if either Whisenhunt or Grimm succeeded Cowher. But now, with a stranger apparently taking over and one Coordinator already gone; it looks like the Rooney family turned into the dysfunctional family picnic. As we now know, part of why Cowher left was his paycheck. Now the winning trio has broken up and Grimm doesn’t have an opening to run to. All coaching openings were filled last week and the ones we thought might be open stayed shut (NY Giants and SD Chargers).

 

Will Sergio stop dissing Tony Dungy?

Now that Dungy has gotten past the Patriots, Brady and Belichick and will be in the Super Bowl, will Sergio give him his due? Stay tuned this week to find out how Sergio will say that Dungy has to win the Super Bowl for him to shut up about how he’s a loser.

That’s it for this week folks. And for all of you that made your Fantasy Super Bowls: Good Luck. Til next week, check out my daily Dose of Duffy columns at www.incidentalcontact.com and listen to me on the Sports Journey radio show every Wednesday and Friday.

© 2007 Incidental Contact, LLC

Caron Butler: Definitely an All-Star

How do you define an NBA All-Star? Most basketball experts say a player who is among the League leaders in statistics; possesses the ability to help his team win and makes big plays – making a needed basket, grabbing a rebound or securing a steal – in big games is how an all-star should be defined. If indeed that’s the definition, then Caron Butler of the Washington Wizards definitely deserves to be among the players wearing an All-Star uniform on Feb. 18 in Las Vegas.

Butler, experiencing a career year, is averaging 20.9 points, 8.1 rebounds, 3.8 assist and 1.97 steals per game. His play has been instrumental in helping lead the Wizards to a 22-16 first-place position in the Eastern Conference’s Southeastern division. Butler ranks 23rd in scoring (11th in the Eastern Conference), 34th in rebounds (18th in the conference), eighth in steals, (fourth in the conference), and has recorded 16 double-doubles, which ranks sixth in the conference. Butler is the only player in the League to average more than 20-points and 8-rebounds per game.

While Gilbert Arenas, Butler’s teammate, is the face of the Wizards and considered by Washington’s fans as the heart and soul of the team because of his frequent heroics, it is Butler who provides the team’s toughness. The 6-foot-7 inch small forward, too quick, agile and strong for most opponents, makes the tough shot to keep the Wizards in most games paving the path for Arenas to hit those amazing game winning shots. The proof of Butler’s toughness can be found in his ability to get to the free-throw line. He has converted 165 free-throws and owns a .877 shooting percentage from the free-throw line; both rank him in the top 15 in the League.

The Racine, Wisc., native has proven he’s an all-star person as well. In September 2005, Butler shared with Oprah Winfrey his testimony of his troubled youth on [The Oprah Winfrey Show] in a show titled, “How My Worst Moment Made Me a Star.” Butler was “recognized by [The Sporting News] as one of the top ‘Good Guys’ in sports in 2006 for his charitable endeavors, and tabbed as a Special Deputy by the Philadelphia Sheriff’s Department.”

In his fifth year Butler, married to Andrea and the father of two girls (Mia Caron and Camary) and son, Caron Jr., is averaging career-high in points, rebounds, assists, minutes played (40.4), and field goal (.489) and free-throw percentage. Butler is the only Wizard to score at least 10-points in each game played this season. Butler, Arenas and Antawn Jamison make-up the League’s most potent scoring threesome averaging 69.6 per game.

Did You Know That Barry Bonds Took Amphetamines?

Say it isn’t so… oh please… Say it isn’t so. But that’s not the story I’m most interested in. It’s the fact that he was like a second grader and pointed his finger at his teammate whose locker is adjacent to his and said, “I got them from him”. What? This guy is surrounded by his “people” in the clubhouse and on the road. You can barely get through his private guards, trainers, cooks or family members to shove a microphone near him. The reason they travel with him is to be sure he gets what he needs to perform and for the last year or so, to keep him out of trouble with what he puts in his body. This way he can continue to maintain that no testing of his bodily fluids has ever come back positive for any of the banned substances on the Major League Baseball list. One of those banned substances is amphetamines. Up til now, to thump his chest and proclaim that he was clean was part of his strategy to keep his legacy intact until he could pass Aaron’s homerun record and demand that he be recognized for it. The other part of his plan is to have us suspend belief that he never took an anabolic steroid from BALCO. What he said, as leaked grand jury testimony shows, is that he was given stuff by BALCO with funny names like The Cream and The Clear and he thought they were health food stuff…you know, like flaxseed oil. Hey, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it. So what do you expect him to say when the test results leaked this week: “It wasn’t me”? Yup. That’s exactly what he said. Good luck with that strategy Barry and make sure that the posse stays close because the teammate you fingered might know guys from Jersey; know what I mean?

 

The Big Unit slinks back to Arizona

Randy Johnson left New York and the Yankees without much fanfare, angst, hand wringing and with virtually not a scratch on him from the tabloids or fans. He was an abject failure as a member of that pitching staff. He went from the anchor of the team to at best a #3 starter who couldn’t be counted on not to give up the big homerun. His record is mediocre at best and in the playoffs he couldn’t win one game. But then again, what did the team think they were getting in a 40+ year old guy who beat them senseless when the Diamondbacks went on their run to win the World Series? If he doesn’t take the “juice”, there are just so many innings in one arm and a body as wiry as he has. So how do you think Alex Rodriguez takes all this in and processes it? A-Rod was the AL MVP only one year ago and he’s been scrutinized more than anyone in a Yankee uniform since Reggie Jackson back in the 70’s. He decides to sun himself in beautiful Central Park and he’s ridiculed. He decides to play for the US in the World Baseball Classic and he is spit at by Ozzie Guillen for even considering playing for a Latin team, despite his heritage. He commits more errors than he should at third and you’d think he didn’t have a decade of work behind him to fall back on when the jackals started tearing him apart. He goes into a batting slump like most hitters do in their careers, at least once, and fans want him shipped to the Moon. But there was the Big Unit making not much less money than A-Rod and not taking the brunt of it all. Hard to hide when you’re as tall as Randy Johnson but somehow the average sized Rodriguez could cover him and did. I don’t hear the tabloids screaming but I do hear the silent scream of A-Rod knowing that another season is about to begin.

That’s it for this week folks. Til next week, check out my daily Dose of Duffy columns at www.incidentalcontact.com and listen to me on the Sports Journey radio show every Wednesday and Friday.

© 2007 Incidental Contact, LLC

Got Dramamine?

New Year’s Day dawned and Jim Mora and Dennis Green were fired from their NFL jobs. Then Jack Del Rio fired ALL his assistant coaches for the Jaguars. On Wednesday, Nick Saban slipped out of Miami and found himself in Alabama. He made his owner, one of the country’s wealthiest and powerful corporate titans look foolish and like a jilted girl friend. Then today, Friday, Bill Cowher got in front of the microphones to resign and Art Shell was summarily fired by the Raiders. Who will be next and do you have the medication to deal with the dizzy pace of it all? Wanna bet that Tom Coughlin will be around even if he loses Sunday? If he can show that he had injuries hamper his ability to win with the loss on defense and offense of Strahan and Toomer and the in and out appearances of Shockey AND that he had the guts to demote his Offensive Coordinator on the eve of his make or break Week 17 game he might pull it off. The Mara family is loyal to those they care about and know work as hard as they can. If they look at the bad season as a result of Coughlin’s inability to reach his players as opposed to poor performances due to the lack of good personnel and losses to injuries, maybe they might make a change. But an argument can be made that if a big time QB coach comes in to work with Eli Manning and a good draft or trades get them an every down back to replace Tiki Barber Coughlin could be the coach next year. In the meantime what’s the over under on days still left for John Fox in Carolina, the Redskins Coordinators and unbelievably, Marty Schottenheimer. His boss hates him and all he needs is to be one and out this year in the playoffs to wipe out what he’s done in the last few years in San Diego.

 

The Lakers Are Showing Me Something

Granted they lost in triple overtime to the Bobcats and had let Gilbert “Agent Zero/Hibachi” Arenas drop 60 on them at home but they are 10 games above .500 for the first time in almost 4 years and survived a 6 game road trip by winning 3, as a winning team is supposed to. They have lost Lamar Odom, their 2nd leading scorer and top rebounder and then their starting center, who with all his problems was taking over the rebounding crown and acting as he should by being a wide body in the paint by making people pay for trying to score on layups. In their first game since losing Kwame Brown, and without Odom, they won in overtime on the road at Sacramento. Say what you will about Sacramento being a bad team this year at 2 under .500, this is a bitter rivalry despite the departure of Rick Fox, Doug Christie, Vlade Divac and Shaq. When Phil Jackson came back last year he changed the habits of a lifetime and played rookies when necessary and ran the triangle through Kobe while mending those fences and asking him to trust his teammates more. Well it took a year and a thrashing in the first round of the playoffs to the Suns last season but it has all taken form this year. Because Kobe couldn’t play all pre-season, this new group of Lakers got to play with each other without him and got to know each other. They developed as a group to the point where the Lakers’ second unit has won recent games for the tired first unit during the long road trip. Now with a second big man down, Jordon Farmar, Maurice Evans (Mitch Kupchack’s best Jerry West impression so far with that draft day pick-up), Sasha Vujacic, Brian Cook and Andrew Bynum are not only contributors, they are developing stars in their own right. With half their games on the road again this month let’s see how it goes starting tonight against Denver with AI. But they are showing me something which is more than I thought I’d see this soon. Keep up the good work

That’s it for this week folks. Til next week, check out my daily Dose of Duffy columns at www.incidentalcontact.com and listen to me on the Sports Journey radio show on Wednesday and Friday.

© 2007 Incidental Contact, LLC